Welcome to " I MISS MY KIDS"

I am finally falling captive to the blogger craze. I hope
to be an encourager to those of us who have
entered mid life and all that comes with it.
Jesus is the answer...
We just have to stay focused on him.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Why do I do what I do???

It has been too long since I have taken time to blog my thoughts..is that the right term??
Oh well I am here now.  I guess I have been thinking about what I would share this time around..I over thought it and didn't write anything.  Does life ever get easier?  I say that with humor laced with a bit of sarcasm.  I think drama seems to seep into my life like an unnoticed dripping faucet that suddenly overflows when the drain accidentally gets stuck in the shut position when you are cleaning (actually happened to me recently).  I think that Satan attacks women with drama from all sides.  We seem to thrive on a good problem even if it's not ours.  They start out as little drips of information that we entertain as prayer requests or trying to give advice to friends and family that desperately need a listening ear.  I soon become that overflowing sink of drips of drama that I know God must want me to take on and help fix . I am now aware that the stuck position of my drain is my inability to actually give God the problem let it go down the drain of prayer in a flowing movement.  I think I like to close the drain and really dwell on the drama and let it get a little stagnant and then I say "oh by the way Lord can you (fill in the blank)?  My husband swears I go and look for problems and drama.  Of course I totally resemble that remark.  I grew up in a  dysfunctional home I claim to always work better in a pinch.  I learned after becoming a Christian that God wanted me to go to him and to rest in peace within all of those hard times.  I have learned to do that but now I suddenly have realized that I like to wallow in drama of any kind.....maybe I am addicted.. I had a situation that came up this week in which my friend needed some prayer and a listening ear.  I really prayed that God would give me sound advice for my friend.  I asked a simple question "why do you borrow every one's drama?".  As I was pointing my finger of course the ole adage I saw three fingers pointing back in my direction became like a beacon of light coming through the clouds.  I could see she was exhausted from carrying those burdens in a "dark cloud" so to speak.  Her heart is totally in the right place she just hasn't learned not to adopt all of that drama into her fold.  I totally claim that as well.  I told her what  I thought the Lord had for her.  I prayed for her and let it go and told her to walk away as well.   What a feeling of freedom. As I said earlier I feel completely honored when God chooses me to be a listening ear...I have forgotten to let go let God handle the final outcome (because He will anyway).  Satan will use anything to destroy my relationship with Jesus.  What better way than to keep me sinking in drama that I can't fix.  I can dog paddle all day long..but dog paddling in mud...no..besides why should I dog paddle when I can just rest and float as well.  Now do not use this blog as a reason not to share with me (you know who you are)....I can't stress enough what a privilege it is to have friends to share with and to pray with I am just learning to continually give him all areas of my life and this is one of them.  He is constantly allowing me to be tested in this area.  I have taken on a lot of my daughter's worries and found out today how I was making it all about me.  She told me in a short tone to stop it and to accept God's plan for her life...well...that hurt my feelings, but once again God was in it and said "do you think you are getting this?".  It is midnight and I think I am getting it.  Lord I really want to get it...honest....  I wouldn't change my role as a woman for anything it's this dying to self that's hard..because I have to do it everyday!  God is good over and over again.  I am going to float on that.

P.S. to my baby I am sorry and I love you.  Thanks for being tough with your Mama