Okay okay I admit it...I stink at blogging faithfully...I am still here just really busy or slow or I don't really know what...but I am here
I have been pondering lately about all of the changes in my life. Growing up and getting married and living for 32 years to that husband of mine, watching my kids grow up and leave my nest and starting nests of their own and so on and so on. At times I reflect in awe of all that God has done in my life and other times I reflect in sadness at all the losses I feel at times. Sometimes loss brings change and sometimes loss brings about a new way of living. The two may sound the same but for me sometimes change is a negative and a new way of living is just that. A new way of living! Which is a positive. I over think everything I am sure. Just when I think life is really hard at 52 God shows me how he really fills in all the gaps. I was talking with a dear friend of mine or should I say chatting on line. This friend Theresa and I met in choir and she has remained one of my dearest friends. She moved away almost two years ago and I thought oh no what a loss. I have missed her laughter and our 2 hour long phones calls and our heart to hearts over many things. I have missed praying with her over just about everything. When she moved I thought I am not going to get through this...but I did. She was also the leader in our ladies trio so another loss....it was change with a negative. As we were chatting I realized hey I did survive and God has filled in every gap. We welcomed a new member to our group a little over a year ago. I love Viv and all she brings to the table...is she Theresa? No... is she a new way of living... yes....which is positive. Viv brings a whole new beginning to what I thought was lost. My friendship with Theresa has taken on a new look. Our friendship is deeply rooted in Christ so it will not end. God filled in another gap with my friend Cindy(who is my worst blogger bugger). I met Cindy years ago and God told me in a very real way that we would be great friends one day. Several years later that too came to pass. We have laughed together and cried together and continue to pray with each other. Is she Theresa ...no....is she a new way of living...yes..
When the Lord moved my kids away especially my daughter Molly(you know mamas and daughters) I thought I am not going to make it..it was a great loss too,but God in his mercy brought along Pam who is young enough to be my daughter but is like my BFF with babies. Seth and Brenna call me Lita. It's awesome..Is Pam Molly?...no..she has become a new way of living for me. I don't think God replaces those special people in our lives,but he fills in the gaps that seem like huge pits to me. It's in those gaps that I grow. We recently returned to our home church of 33 years. We were called to another smaller church that I simply fell in love with. We ministered there for about 3 years and God called us back home. Both moves were really hard but leaving my little church was painful. I miss my dear sisters there. When we returned to our home church what a blessing God has had in store for us. All the gaps I felt are being filled in one at a time....It has been a time of deep learning and giving up of my comfort zone..which can be painful, but ahh so necessary. I am deeply grateful for all the people God has brought into my life and I know things will continue to change..but I know God is my gap filler and Oh how he loves you and me.
