Wow it has been a long couple of months. Every time I look at this blog site I get mad at myself for not being more faithful to it. Oh well....I will proceed. We buried my mother-in-law Faye last week. She was diagnosed with stage 4B pancreatic cancer and was given 6 months to live. She elected for no treatment. In her 80 years of life wisdom took the lead and her heart strings to this earthly life were severed as she made her way to the Savior's arms in 4 short weeks. We were all devastated at the diagnoses. My husband called me early on a Wed. morning to tell me the news and I cried for what seemed forever and then I began the process of calling each one of my children to tell them the news. We were all so sad. We went to visit Faye that evening to see this frail woman stand up and give each one of us a hug and tell us she was at peace,she was ready to go,and she was taking no treatment. We all sat back and took the moment in. I began to think our lives were going to change drastically in the next fews months. I looked at my dear father-law who has been a father to me in the last 32 years and thought he was losing his mate of 61 years and his life was never going to be the same. I looked at my husband and thought his life was going to be different without his mama of 58 years and myself I thought wow it is really happening our parents are leaving this world. The next 4 weeks were spent trying to spend as much time with Faye as we could and then taking care of her as her body began to fail. I deemed it a huge privilege to be a part of her care taking in those last days. My dad died of cancer 12 years ago and I lived out of state and was not a big part of that. This was all together different. Watching life slip away from a person creates a lot of soul searching. I had to face my faith head on and know that I know that Jesus death on the cross provides a safe passage for those who believe in him and trust him wholly. Faye knew the savior and was ready to meet him. The last day I spent with her she slept most of the day. She slept right through a bath and a hair wash that ended with a bad blown dried look. I kept thinking she would hate her hair like this. She began to slip so quickly that day and when I kissed her cheek and told her I loved her and said good bye I knew it would be the last time. I felt she already had one foot in Heaven. She slipped into the presence of God the next morning at 9:30. My husband called to say " she has stopped breathing" he didn't say she died or she is dead..just that she has stopped breathing. Her earthly body had stopped but as she opened her eyes she saw Jesus. Death is no victor for the child of the King. I know our lives had begun the change. No more Christmas dinners with Faye, no more flea market trips with my best antique buddy in the world, no more scrabble games (that I always lost), no more anything with Faye. For those of you who know me I love new things and a new adventure, but this is one time I am not looking forward to the changes her home going brings. My father-law Bill said yesterday that life moves on. We will miss her but she is no longer in pain and sick...so life does move on. To what? I think it is the fact is that we all face mortality and when we lose a loved one it only magnifies the fact. I want Fayes's home going to change my life for the positive. She was a woman who told you pretty straight up just about everything. She would be the first to say move on and find something good to think about. So I will. Simply put I will choose to take the best of my memories of Faye and put them to work in a positive way. One that will lead others to Christ. She would smile at that and say "Kelley get over it and get on with it" So I will...love you Faye!
