The First Of Many Thoughts

Well here I go. I have several friends that post on blog sites and I always appreciate reading their thoughts. I spend a lot of time at home and I have a lot of thoughts just swarming in this head of mine. I have decided this is a great way to journal as well as vent. I feel like this will be great way to show the power of Jesus flowing through my life when I yield to him. There is a verse in the bible that talks about still water becoming stagnant; however running water doesn't. I may feel like I am drowning,but Jesus tells me I won't I stand on his word and all that it promises me.
I spent time with two of my dear friends today that I sing with. We practice once a week and I always look forward to spending time in fellowship and song and prayer. My friend Pam is a young mama and has found herself staying at home after a recent lay off from her full time job in the working world. I had forgotten how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. I  have always counted it a privilege to have been able to stay at home. I seem to remember the happy highlights of being at home, but I had forgotten until today how the mundane things during that time in my life were so huge and disheartening. Not finishing the laundry, not fixing a three course meal, not getting the house clean used to throw me into a web of low self esteem and then of course I would talk to one of my working mom friends and really feel like I was absolutely worthless. As I was sharing with Pam today some simple advice that might help her get through her day feeling victorious. I thought to myself Kelley you are giving advice from your experiences...am I old??...no I choose to know that I am finally getting to a place where God can use me where I am at.  I may be over 50 and menopausal and lonely for my children but I do have something to offer. Thank you Lord for always finding a way to show me purpose for my life. My husband and I make pottery and we also share a ministry using the pottery wheel. My husband Billy often refers to us sitting on the wheel like the clay and just spinning after we have become centered in Christ. We are content is being saved and sitting back and watching. When I turned 50 I felt like that clay. When my kids moved away and took my grand babies I was totally spinning out of control in self pity. I just sat back and froze..doing nothing. I asked my husband "well now what do we do?". He looked at me like I was crazy and said "are you kidding me..we are free" I am thinking free to do what. He proceeded to tell me "we can really find out what God's plan is for us now that we don't have kids at home". I am just now beginning to see the bigger picture. If my kids were all here I would be so immersed in their lives I would not have time to do what God really needs me to do. I spent my life molding them for their futures. God is nudging me ever so gently forward to new things in him without my kids. Hmmm imagine that life without kids. I am saddling up this is my new adventure!!! My friends were right this blogging is a eye opener. So my first blog completed. Thanks Pammie for the chance to feel needed.